a stupid and annoying rule of thumb

I just came across a blog post saying that you should never preface a statement with the word “honestly,” because this implies that all of your other statements aren’t honest.

Poppycock. The word “honestly” has nothing to do with “honest.” It usually means the same thing as “frankly,” and sometimes the same thing as “surprisingly.”

An example (completely made up) where it means frankly: “Honestly, I could do without his company on the trip anyway.”

This probably doesn’t mean that up until now you’ve dishonestly claimed to want him on the trip. It means, instead, that you’ve tactfully remained silent whenever his presence on the trip was mentioned, and now that he’s had to cancel, you are being candid in declaring that you prefer it that way. You’ve most likely done nothing wrong here. You’ve been a good soldier in not complaining openly about the guest list, and are only breathing a sigh of relief after the fact that he’s not going. You certainly don’t deserve to be X’ed off as a person by some idiot who has a finicky and amateurish rule against people who say “honestly.”

An example (a real one) where “honestly” means surprisingly came when Slam basketball magazine asked Scottie Pippen what other player in the NBA reminded him most of himself: “Honestly? Walt Williams.”

Here, “honestly” mans “surprisingly.” Williams came into the NBA as a potential multi-tool star, but quickly settled into quiet obscurity in Sacramento, never quite a star player. For Pippen (a huge, highly visible star) to say that Walt Williams reminded him of himself was a subtle, sophisticated, non-braggadocio answer– and Pippen knew it.

“Honestly” here didn’t mean “Usually when I’m asked this question, I give shifty, dishonest answers for nefarious purposes, but this time I will tell the truth.” No, it meant: “This is probably going to surprise you, but I’d have to say it’s Walt Williams, even though he’s fairly obscure and mildly disappointing as a player so far.”

Anyway, don’t write someone off just because they say “honestly.” More often than not, it’s because they’re actually giving you some candid information that will be of use, and they’re trusting you to some extent in sharing it.