what a harsh critic of Moby-Dick might say

I’ve been working on a few of these parodies:

“The ‘hero’ of the book is a bipolar one-legged skipper who cruises the world from Nantucket with an obsequious team of multi-ethnic harpooners. The climax comes when a scary, evil white whale swims around the ship so fast that everyone is sucked into a whirlpool– everyone except the narrator, that is, who somehow survives to tell the tale. When reflecting on such inanity, I marvel once again at the puerile enthusiasm of Melville’s legion of sycophantic admirers.”