and speaking of restaurant critics

The Onion has a good parody of one RIGHT HERE.

Unfortunately, the photo of the fictitious critic seems to have been removed. I remember it well, and it was perfect.

“My companion’s Continental sandwich (turkey, swiss, lettuce, alfalfa, and tomatoes slathered with Dusseldorf mustard) was pensive at best.”

“My lobster thermidore, accented with a single truffle patty, was exquisite, as engaging as it was playful. Not willing to appease merely the palate, Jo-Jo’s creates a dynamic visual experience, as well, with its colored plates and sauce designs. My crimson lobster dish was accompanied by a canary-yellow plate with a swirl of blueberry sauce topped with strands of grated yucca that made it a celebration for all the senses. My companion’s portobello custard tart with two strips of herb-tossed white asparagus was similarly accented with an emerald plate and horizontal stripes of raspberry sauce.”

The second sample sounds like it comes from a “random restaurant review” generator.