another Simmons masterpiece

As a former sportswriter I’m entitled to an educated opinion on this. I think Bill Simmons is a great sportswriter. He doesn’t just write columns; he writes 4 or 5 columns in one, weaving multiple ideas together in a way that never seems forced.

THIS NEW COLUMN, assessing the recent LeBron James disappointment in the NBA playoffs as well as LeBron’s future, is riveting if you have even the least interest in basketball.

I’m not even sure what to quote from this oasis of ideas. The initial (totally convincing) comparison of LeBron with Doctor J? The strangely effective Corleone analogies? The argument that the Chicago Bulls should be option #1 for LeBron and staying in Cleveland option #2?

I think I’ll quote the very end of the article instead, because it might be applicable to philosophy as well. Here he quotes a (brilliant) piece of reader mail and adds even more brilliant insights on top of it.

“Final point: Between Games 5 and 6 of the Cavs-Celtics series, an Austin reader named Chris Rider sent me the following e-mail:

‘I figured LeBron out, dude. I think you define a player by defining what is most important to them in one word.

[Michael Jordan] — Winning. Hands down, all he wanted to do was win. And that’s over-used for a lot of athletes, but not him.

Kobe [Bryant] — Greatness. Yes he’s going to win some, but only because he wants to be considered great and that will be a by-product at times. But you’d also see him shoot his team out of a game; jack 3s when he should press the issue and get to the paint. He didn’t mind losing a few games if people came away saying: Kobe is great; look what happens when he doesn’t shoot.

LeBron — Amaze. I think he just really wants to amaze people. Which is why he spends 10 minutes before the game throwing underhand, left-hand half-court shots. Why he celebrates amazing dunks and blocks, but isn’t working just as hard to win. I know the Cavs aren’t great without him, but he’s got PLENTY on that team to win rings with.’

Is that totally fair? Probably not. But just for fun, let’s extend Chris’ game …

Russell, Magic, Bird, Duncan, Walton, West and Havlicek: Winning.

Wilt: Numbers.

Oscar and Barry: Perfection.

Shaq: Fame.

Kareem and Elgin: Pride.

Moses: Rebounds.

Malone and Garnett: Work.

Barkley: Fun. [GH- totally! laughing out loud]

Cousy, Stockton, Isiah, Pippen and Nash: Team. [GH- I could do without Pippen here; great player, but often a sullen quitter unless Jordan was there to kick his butt]

For Doc and LeBron, you probably need more than one word. By the rules of the game, we can use only one. And so, we’re forced to pick this one: Amaze. You are who you are.”

It’s sometimes really baffling that good sportswriters can string ideas together in an interesting way better than good academics in various fields.

I learned a lot from sportswriting. In fact, it may have been one of the best things ever to happen to me intellectually. I was never as good as Simmons, though. His passion for sports is greater than mine, and his sports knowledge base is ultimately much larger (I never spent as many hours per day watching sports as he did). But I also tried to pack a lot of ideas, interestingly written, into each column– and my columns were long too, just like Simmons’s are; we’re both internet sportswriters, meaning no word limit.

But what I really learned from that job was to meet deadlines and to stay interesting.

As for LeBron, he just reminded us that physical specimens may come along that are equal or superior to Jordan. But there will probably never be another Jordan. He was a killer. As Simmons puts it in this column, there is no chance at all that Jordan would have let his teammates quit in two straight games like LeBron just did. Jordan’s teammates were scared of him, and he would have torn their heads off if they didn’t play hard in games like this.