monolithic tree mushroom stem squid

From a funny NY Times article on mistranslations of English in China, an old theme that never really gets old, since new examples are always surprising and amusing:

“SHANGHAI — For English speakers with subpar Chinese skills, daily life in China offers a confounding array of choices. At banks, there are machines for ‘cash withdrawing’ and ‘cash recycling.’ The menus of local restaurants might present such delectables as ‘fried enema,’ ‘monolithic tree mushroom stem squid’ and a mysterious thirst-quencher known as ‘The Jew’s Ear Juice.’

Those who have had a bit too much monolithic tree mushroom stem squid could find themselves requiring roomier attire: extra-large sizes sometimes come in ‘fatso’ or ‘lard bucket’ categories. These and other fashions can be had at the clothing chain known as Scat.”

I’m actually hoping they don’t clean this up. It’s poetry.