a smart-alecky thing I did in my early 20’s

A Facebook discussion just reminded me of this. Though some people claim to find my writing quite sarcastic, in person I’m not really like that. I virtually never tease people or play practical jokes; it seems to undermine the basis of trust between people. However, I did once pull the following stunt…

Back when I was 22 or 23, Montgomery Ward sent me a credit card application. I went ahead and applied for one card for myself, and one for a supposed wife whom I named Marie von Habsburg. And I did receive a card in the name of my noble spouse, and kept it for many years as a novelty item to amuse party guests. (Naturally I never used it, though I was sorely tempted to have some female acquaintance come shopping with me at Montgomery Ward and simulate a Habsburg signature.)

A few years later, a telemarketer phoned my place and asked to speak with Madame von Habsburg (well, not really the “Madame” part). I was rattled by this and quickly said we had gotten divorced, and I felt really bad at how embarrassed the poor telemarketer sounded at the news.

Still a few years later, I ordered my credit rating report out of curiosity, and was mildly horrified to see “Graham von Habsburg” listed as my “alias.”