the Gibbon society

While in Manchester during discussions with PHILOSOPHY IN A TIME OF ERROR, we were able to trade a bit of Gibbon lore (this was right before clubbing, so don’t think we’re just a couple of pompous old dons), ranging from the recurring grammatical structures that characterize Gibbon’s best insults to his remarkably intense hatred of eunuchs.

With September as crazy as it is, it may take me awhile to get back to him, but I thought I would choose my favorites so far. There are many contenders, but at the moment I will list three especially good passages. (I’m not going to search for these by hand, so I take them from the ONLINE VERSION OF THE DECLINE AND FALL.)

1. Mockery of Commodus for Slaughtering Animals in Arena Combat

“The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master’s vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaen lion and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labours of heroism. In the civilised state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighbourhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince, and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals) the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion’s hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the god, whose valour and dexterity he endeavoured to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.”

2. Mockery of Constantine for His Dubious Late Wardrobe

“A secret but universal decay was felt in every part of the public administration, and the emperor himself, though he still retained the obedience, gradually lost the esteem, of his subjects. The dress and manners which, towards the decline of his life, he chose to affect, served only to degrade him in the eyes of mankind. The Asiatic pomp which had been adopted by the pride of Diocletian assumed an air of softness and effeminacy in the person of Constantine. He is represented with false hair of various colors, laboriously arranged by the skilful artists of the times: a diadem of a new and more expensive fashion; a profusion of gems and pearls, of collars and bracelets; and a variegated flowing robe of silk most curiously embroidered with flowers of gold.”

Whoops, I can’t find the third one, which is about eunuchs. But while searching for it I did find the following entertaining review on Goodreads:

“Tedb0t rated it: 4 Stars (review of isbn 0375758119)
bookshelves: history, non-fiction

The history of human civilization and society is basically a continuum of idiots, sociopaths, murderers and bores, punctuated by the occasional rational individual whose life is cut short by those very sociopaths that succeed him. Gibbon’s classic documents a tiny cross-section of some of the most lamentably pathetic mistakes and awful personalities this doomed species has ever suffered. Oh, how times have changed.”