more generally

In fact, ethics really needs to be based altogether on the difference between energy-sucking and energy-enhancing people.

Yesterday I ran into a woman I know somewhat as a fringe acquaintance. I made a point of complimenting her on a nice article of clothing, which was indeed stylish. But within 3 minutes of conversation (there was a third person there, male) she had introduced about 4 or 5 topics obviously chosen to put me on the defensive. There’s no mystery here; I know what her problem is, I just don’t feel like discussing it on a blog. And the sad thing is, I really wish her nothing but the best.

But the much more interesting point is the general one… If you’re in a conversation where you’re trying to keep the other person on the defensive the whole time, unless there is a specific history of exchanges that justifies this, then you’re being an energy-sucker. It’s unethical behavior. We’ll all be dead soon enough– why try to extinguish the flames of another decades before it’s necessary?